Start Fresh

I put YouTube cleaning videos on and busted out some deep cleaning this afternoon. When you get the desire to deep clean just say yes because chances are it doesn't happen very often.

There is something so cathartic about watching somebody get their house completely clean, especially since Lord knows how very rare that is for us SAHMs with homeschooled kids. Let's face it, there's a definite unique challenge in our everyday lives to keep our house livable since it's literally always lived in. It's like toddler years, forever.

Yes, the kids help. But let me be quite honest when I say that sometimes that is more painful than pulling teeth and sometimes less productive than a pack of wolves cleaning your house. Some times you just want a clean house and not spend 2 hours folding 1 basket of clothes while you train all your small assistants. I love them to pieces, but living in squalor gives me anxiety and makes me a much less lovable mommy.

But reality is this is a huge problem. Not the kids. Not the homeschooling. Not even the dirty house. It's the fact that we own so much bulk that it makes it so overwhelming for all of us to be able to stick to simple routines. Children should be able to make a mess. They should be able to get toys out and play with them. They should be able to live in a house. If our possessions were half what they currently are we would be in that position.

So, it's my fault. That's the truth. I'm the one that's attached to their baby toys and keeps them to pass down to the next child and the next child. We take such good care of our things generally that they're in like new condition to pass down to the next kid. But here's where I started to realize how wrong that was, Shouldn't each child have the same chance to discover things for the first time on their own? I mean, if they're saddled with their siblings old toys constantly -- they never get to discover the feeling of getting their own things. Plus, what if the toys aren't even anything they're interested in? Shouldn't each child get a chance to have toys that reflect their personalities and tastes?

Now I feel even worse.

Here, I thought for years I was being responsible by trying to save money and I realize I've been packing up these toys for the next kid and the next kid and realize 90% of them weren't played with after that. Kids don't need a lot, but what they do have should be things that interest them, inspire them, etc.

Then there's also the element of trusting God to provide if we need it. So often in life we hold onto things because we think it's better to have something than to wait empty handed for what we really want or need. I'm here to tell you that it isn't better. Because while you're waiting for what you want or need, you're stuck with a house full of stuff that is literally just in your way.

With me it wasn't just toys, I've been keeping all the clothes from my first two kids to pass down to my other two. I'm grateful for this because they have come in handy, however, I think I could have used a bit more discretion with which pieces I stored for the 6 years from my first son to my second, and the 6 years from my first daughter to my second. That's a long time to store a dozen 18 gallon tubs of clothes and shoes and accessories.

I find myself resenting toys and children's clothes, even though those are two very essential things to have when you actually have children. I do not resent my children and never will. Minimizing is actually something I'm doing so I can be the mom they deserve. I'm no good to anyone when I'm so stressed out because I'm overwhelmed with anxiety over the state of my house, which feels like the state of my life.

Elsa was right, we really just need to Let it go! Chances are your children won't miss the toys from their siblings, it's OK to start fresh with each new child.

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