I woke up this morning and the desire to purge kind of came over me. But what should I start with? I messaged my husband and told him I wanted to get rid of some stuff and he says maybe I should start downstairs. Hmm, I think to myself, No, the kids are home. It's too hard to try to get rid of toys when they're all hovering and crying over their stuff. So, he says the "office" (it's a storage room at the moment that is supposed to be a dining room/office, but it's holding all our tools because we don't have a garage or a work shop). And I think to myself, I don't even know what to do with the stuff in there because there's no where else to put it. And it overwhelms me. Probably why I keep downsizing the same areas in the house over and over again, because they're the areas that I feel like I can downsize, emotionally and mentally.

The desire to downsize is there, it's just the actual act of placing myself in a mindset where I can succeed. There really is no sense in fooling yourself and sitting down to downsize only to sit there staring at a pile of things you honestly just blank on. I look at that room and immediately I want to run away. So. Many. Things. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have done a fantastic job of getting it to this point because it was the entire downstairs now it's just a tiny room that isn't even totally full.

Stuff needs a home. That's the problem isn't it? It all needs a home and there isn't one for any of it, unless I want to live in a home filled with things that need my home. It's my home. So, why is my home full of stuff that doesn't have a place?

Because I want to do #AllTheThings. I am so interested in literally everything, every hobby, every subject, I want to learn it and master it. Or at least try it. So, we have craft supplies, tools, board games, small project pieces, painting supplies, drawing supplies, flower pressing, science kits, a telescope, microscopes, knitting stuff, sewing supplies, macrame supplies, etc. You get the picture.

How do you narrow your focus when you honestly want to learn how to do everything?

I was listening to a speaker talk about 'Gifted' people on TEDx Talks -- she was talking about how both her and her children are considered gifted and then went on to discuss what scientists are now discovering about the type of people who are considered gifted and how ADHD and Autism kind of cross over into that same category somewhat. It's weird to sit there and have somebody, a stranger, literally describe you. I was homeschooled so no one would have ever really known if I was a gifted student or not, but the things she described, personality traits of gifted people described me to a T.

Gifted, Creative, Highly Sensitive Children 

I'm creative and have always been highly sensitive, to everything. I wish I had known it wasn't just because, but that the way I am is because that's how God made me to be on purpose. Sometimes you go around feeling like you just kind of happened in life. You know? Like, you grew this way because you were growing through the shadows of other things hanging over you, just trying to get to the sunlight so you can survive and grow. And that could be some of it, but I think God instills these predispositions inside of us as a seed and as we live life going through our seasons we start picking up things in the soil we're growing in. We react and learn and change and become. 

My vision and reach is wide because I'm interested in everything. But it's counterproductive to put my hands into everything because then I assure myself that I will not be really good at anything. I couldn't even start 90% of the projects because I was too busy accumulating dreams to live them. 

I'm good at accumulating dreams, I'm not great at planning them out to fruition. I have never been a good goal setter, I have no idea what that looks like. Successful people plan their year, five year and even ten year goals and make a list of small steps they can take to reach them. I have tried to do that and sat there with a pen in my hand and a blank sheet of paper. 

There's such a negative connotation to being narrow minded. People that focus in tend to be scary accurate in their aim. When you put all of your self into one area you will find that that area grows faster than others. Focus. Aim. Concentrate.  

Which is where priorities come into play. When you have your priorities laid out you will begin to see that they start to unfold like the seasons, there is a time for everything. Maybe it's only 5 minutes, but for that 5 minutes be all there wherever you are. 

For me, I have been terrible always at a morning time or any kind of set time to spend with God or reading the bible. It's always kind of just been an all the time kind of thing in my head. But if I am saying I'm putting him first then I should ceremoniously actually literally put him first. And even now I'm trying to figure out how I can multitask. Let's face it, I'm a mom of 4 and my kids wake up with me so alone time with God is about as rare as me doing anything alone. Maybe it doesn't need to be alone time though? 

Part of the reason why I find so many things difficult in life is because I am a very visual learner, very. And there were so many things I was not sat down and actually shown how to do. If I can't see it, I can't do it. Written directions take me so long to comprehend it's kind of ridiculous. It's probably why I'm not a huge book reader. I love books. I read a lot, but not for pleasure and not really for myself the majority of the time. I read to my children. What if my kids are like me? If I close myself off and do things alone wouldn't I be doing the same thing to my children? Don't I want them to know what praying, talking to God, and studying scripture looks like? 

I have a vision in my head and tomorrow is just another day that I will try my best to implement it. I'm not always sure there's a clear pathway to minimalism, I mean that's the whole point of needing it, there is no clear path literally. It's just one messy moment after the next. Each movement you make in life creates ripples. All these effects of over abundance will eventually lessen over time and each new wave that makes it to shore is a sign that there are still waters coming. It's movement that's the key. 

I want to leave you with this thought, each movement/action you make is scientifically proven to have an equal and opposite reaction. You move in the water and create a ripple which then continues until it breaks on shore. If you allow God to direct your steps you will find even a small action can have amazing results. 

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