In the Wilderness

This is the part of minimalism that starts to feel like a desert wasteland, the waiting in the wilderness. You're ready to downsize, but other people aren't ready to take things off your hands. I've had a few pieces of furniture listed for over two weeks now and had a few bites, but nothing substantial. I keep looking at these pieces wishing they'd find a new home because I'm ready for them to move on, but not for free.

See, we aren't always in a financial situation to where we can forget that things cost money. I struggle with the knowing when to just let go and when I need to hold on and get something out of it. Usually when something is worth money I know at this point in life I need to at least try to sell it. But the wanting to just be done with it never leaves until the item sells and gets picked up.

We were supposed to have a garage sale last week, but my husband had to work late Friday evening and then had to run errands the next day and I wasn't about to do it all myself. I've done that in the past, though admittedly not since having 4 kids, and I'm not too keen on it. Garage sales are a lot of work. A lot. And I'm kind of waning on my patience for drawn out exhaustion.

So, we postponed the garage sale to this weekend -- but this weekend is our Anniversary and by the time it rolled around it became clear that I had forgotten what to sell, or had lost the drive and the wave of downsizing had rolled on passed me. Have you ever had that happen? It's why the phrase was coined Strike while the irons hot. 

Do you ever just get into a mood and can't quite shake it until it passes like a storm? The clouds roll in and for all I wish to just snap out of it, something in me is just shadowed. Sometimes I wonder if it's for a reason, or just one of those things. I wonder sometimes if God shadows us to give us shade when life gets overwhelmingly hot and threatens to scorch us. Like the children of Israel in the wilderness. I think sometimes He wants us to just rest in Him. But for control freaks like myself that does not come easily and I think that's when I slip into a bad mood. The child in me rebels.

I want so badly to let things go, I'm in a hurry to empty myself. Perhaps many people in my life don't realize how heavy it is to live like this? But it is. It weighs heavily on my conscience because my children are growing up in this secret garden and it scares me that their childhood is being lost in the piles of all these would be treasures that none of us can clear. It's like trying to find my child lost in a store, going down each aisle frantic.

We have these children, our greatest treasures, to enjoy and experience and then fill up every empty space available for them with our junk until they're squeezed out. I picture this little raised baby garden we have and the space is valuable because it's small and you have to be responsible with it even more so than a large plot of land or you will find seedlings get crowded out, they can't reach the sun. Or their roots have no place to go. And it scares me that I'm doing this to my children in a very real tangible way. Do they feel it? Of course they do. Do you know how I know? Clean a space up, I mean really clean it up, watch them flock to it.

"As a child, I had the type of closet that you opened at your own risk. Because when you opened that door, only God knew what barrage of toys, clothes, and “stuff” would come barreling forth. I didn’t know it then, but as a kid–I needed minimalism.I always said, “I am just messy, period.” Like it was some kind of personality trait: MessyClutteredOverwhelmedAnxious.
As a kid 30 years ago, I needed minimalism. But today…for my kids? Minimalism is essential." 

If you want to read more of that article, Why Kids Need Minimalism by Denaye Barahona, simply click on the photo above. I couldn't agree with it more. Parents and Children face a unique challenge in this day and age. Everything is available quicker than it used to be, everything moves faster than it used to, there is so much pressure and push for children to be tech savvy, to grow up faster, yet be quiet and unobtrusive in our grown up lives. I find that often, people want kids so they have them, then when they have the children they want to limit the amount of footprints children make in their lives. Send them off to watch TV, play on a tablet, play outside, be quiet and let me live my life. Grow up without me or any direction. Basically children are being told to raise themselves with the help of technology and we use toys to distract them.

But it backfires, wouldn't you say? Because it ends up being a distraction for us. And nobody wins.

So, I'm living my life in a frantic hurry to wash this subdivision life of paycheck to paycheck and prayers so that we can jump tracks onto a better less distracted oasis. Even if it's a different state of mind -- the state of our home is a direct correlation to our mind and symbiotic in nature. I don't want this stuff because I want a different life. I'm done with this wilderness I've been wandering for what feels like 40 years. I'm done complaining and I'm ready to act until I reach the promised land

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