Hard Work Saying Goodbye

Aiming towards minimalism can have an odd effect on the people in your life, your community so to speak can sometimes treat you like you've gone off the deep end. You might find that when you tell your family and friends, or they find out, that you are trying to become minimalist can bring almost as much scrutiny as changing religions or becoming vegan. It is so sad that so many people are so comfortable with this box they live in and define themselves with their lifestyle that they'd go as far as to sabotage (maybe unintentionally) a loved ones efforts to change their life. 

Hoarding is unhealthy. It's unhealthy right up there with binge eating (as a lifestyle). It can have lasting effects on your future not to mention your present. There are obviously layers to hoarding and not everyone is what I'd like to refer to as a morbid hoarder. Like the ones that can't fit through a pathway in their house any longer. But most of us have some kind of unhealthy attachment to things. It's a social disease in my opinion. So, naturally you will get push back when you tell people you don't want to be normal anymore. You want to be different and live differently. They probably think your actions are extreme. Maybe they even think you own too much stuff or do have a dirty house, but the word minimalist stirs up controversy because it makes you question the norm. It also probably makes them think you're silently judging their lifestyle, too. 

IT'S HARD. Most of us are not naturally fluid with our possessions. We hold onto them because we're attached and it can be a really long drawn out process of letting go to reach our goals, depending on how much you've accumulated and how hard it is for you to let it go. So for me, I could use some support. I could use people cheering me on. When I come to you and tell you I've gotten rid of "x" amount of things it's probably not a good idea for you to act disappointed and express that you think I somehow did the wrong thing. I get it, minimalism isn't your thing, but it's my thing. If you love me why is it difficult for you to be excited for me? 

Why do we find it difficult to support the people we love in their efforts to live a better life? Who cares if it isn't your version of a better life, they're not trying to change your life

Maybe it isn't even about minimalism. Maybe you're just trying to make your life better in a different way. Maybe you want to move out of the area, or you want to sell your house and downsize your lifestyle, maybe you want to sell everything you own to pay off your debts, or maybe you want to switch careers, etc. Sometimes it could be all of those things or something else entirely different that you can't seem to get any support to start it. I know when I was exercising regularly and trying to change my diet I was met with the same negativity and push back. People want to keep you right where you are and it sucks. Especially since God made us to excel. To prove that nothing was impossible with Him backing us. 

Do you know what is crazy to me is the fact that people can absolutely agree with you that you have problems, but they're more comfortable with you wading around in them because it's how they would do it or have done it. Don't make waves! Don't take the path less traveled because that's scary for them. Don't dare question societal norms and look for answers that maybe look extreme to others. 

I don't want to live my life in debt. 
I don't want to own a bunch of things I can't afford. 
I don't want to raise my children in a lifestyle that leads them to become comfortable with the idea of getting into debt because there's apparently no way around it. 
I don't want to even live in a house if I can't pay for it and the lifestyle that comes with it. 
Yes I'm one of those weird people who would rather sell my house and live in a camper for a while, pay off debt, and stop asking for anyone else for help because we simply can't afford life. 

I also don't want to be one of those people who's constantly saying I can't afford everything. I know that God takes care of me and I know that he wants a different life for me. One that isn't filled with just surviving. 

I've spoken of it before and I'll say it again, you have to prepare your soil to plant so when you plant the seeds you will have good strong plants to harvest when it is time. If you don't till up the ground and fertilize it you will have dead plants, or tiny plants that don't produce fruit. Lots of descriptive words to tell you that you need to stop holding onto things that aren't meant for you just to have something

This was what I kept telling myself cleaning out my back yard. Get rid of it so that God can plant something better in it's place. Open up your hands and stop gripping to brokenness. Stop grasping poverty and start replacing that mindset with prosperity. 

I'm not a fan of prosperity preaching, but I am a fan of actions and dedication and faithfulness. I believe when you show yourself faithful that God will trust you with bigger and better. 

But here's the thing, it's already a hard transition. It's hard sometimes for me to let things go that I would have kept because I'm stepping out in faith to downsize and sell things that I do love because I don't need it and we could use the extra income. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone for a life that I can see in the future that God has for me. Why can't you just be supportive? Don't remind me how much I loved it. Don't ask me how much I sold it for and then tell me I could have gotten more. Don't remind me that I spent money on something I'm now donating. And for the love of all that is holy, do not go through my give away piles and offer to store it for me or take it home for yourself only for it to end up back at my house a couple months from now. 

It is hard work saying goodbye. Help me out. Pat me on the back. Or just keep quiet. If you cannot be the sunshine to help another person grow, you're probably the hail stones breaking their limbs out from under them. 

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