All Roads Lead to Somewhere


“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where–” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
“–so long as I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as an explanation.
“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”

One of the biggest struggles I have mentally is knowing where I want to go with all of this. Life, goals, minimizing, financially, parenting, personally; pretty much everything. I have never been good at setting goals because I'm a practical person and I don't know what is practical to reach for. I am not great at taking a stab in the dark either. I just know I want better than what I have right now, I have no idea what better looks like or which road to take to get to it.

I'm getting somewhere, how could you not? Life moves regardless of if you give it permission to or not, you will be moving but likely where you end up will not be where you wanted to go. Have you ever played a video game like Mario Brothers where the screen is constantly pushing you forwards? If you resist it and focus on resisting the outcome will not be success, it will be failure. You'll run out of time, or you'll get pushed into a bad situation like death, either of these scenarios is not ideal. That's life.

If you spend your time resisting the forward motion you will not have an ideal outcome. I think I've been resisting. But not actively resisting, just not really pursuing forward motion because I don't know what it looks like anymore. I thought I knew when I was younger, I thought hard work and perseverance could get you anything in life and then worked until there was steam coming out of my ears and I realized I wasn't getting anywhere. All my hard work really meant nothing in the scheme of it all. They weren't joking when they called life a rat race, that's exactly how it feels when you're working for someone else below the pay grade that you're worth.

When I think Where do I want to be in five years?  The only thing that comes to mind is not here. Which is obviously stupid because no matter what I do I will not be here in five years. I'll either be in a better position, or a worse one. And the odd thing is you get to choose.

Really you do. No, you may not hit your financial mark or you may have to take a few set backs, but ultimately you can take steps to ensure you go through those five years and end up better working towards something than struggling to move at all.

Set a Goal

It's actually really easy, like really easy. You just say In five years I'd like to be here and put a pin in it. Setting the goal is the easiest part, right? Sky is the limit. Get a piece of paper, or open up a clean document on word, then just allow the vomit to commence. Eventually between the lines you'll start to see an underlying subject matter that can be grouped together, I want to be financially successful, I want to have $10,000 in savings, to start. Or, I want to read the bible daily, I want to stop yelling at my kids, I want to have a clean home every evening, I want to travel the United States and widen my world. See, the options are limitless, but you have to put them before you before you can run towards them.

Find Your Obstacles

This is more difficult, but still pretty simple. What stands in your way? Many times I've found it's myself that is the largest obstacle, the ever growing desire to be the person I know I can be, the personal struggles that are innate to my own human nature. I struggle with focus and get overwhelmed easily because of my brain, it's who I am and how I was born. I never realized until adulthood that my childhood's simplicity masked some very dirty secrets. Maybe this struggle was passed down to me which is why my Mom insisted on throwing things in the trash constantly. My desire for simplicity is because of a deep seeded need if I want to become the person I know I can be, I used to be.

Decide Steps to Take

Next is a bit harder, in my humble opinion. Knowing which baby steps you can take to reach your goals. Financially it might be to 1. Read books on Financial Fitness, like Dave Ramsey's Books. Or Surround yourself with good financial advice, immerse yourself in the task of becoming an expert in it so that it becomes second nature to live in a way to reach your goal. 2. Make a personal plan. For finances obviously this would be a budget, but plan whatever goal you want to reach into maybe monthly/weekly goals. Start small. 3. Stay consistent. I would say if you can find an accountability partner you'd be even better off. Set reminders on your phone, put up post it notes to remind you, make inspiring posters to help you on bad days. Etc. You have to put things in place daily that will give you some kind of drive to continue when things get rough. No one wants to eat salad for every meal every day and sooner or later that sweet tooth starts calling -- if you have sugar in your cupboards you will cheat. Do your best to eliminate temptations that will sway you from your goals.

Remember in life that all roads lead to somewhere, but they won't all lead you towards success. No one accidentally fell into success. They didn't trip into fulfillment. 9 times out of 10 you will have to back yourself out of a dead end road, but when you find that 1 out of 10 you will find your rhythm and all that speed you've been gaining starts to push you forward.

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